You may ask yourself, did Kobo die? Did he get bought out by a more successful blog? Did he leave the gas on?
The answer dear reader is “No.” “No.” “Maybe.” The tricky thing about being a light year away from home is…IT TAKES A FRIGGING YEAR TO GET HOME. Luckily I took a detour around Uranus to get home a little quicker.
One thing about space travel they don’t tell you is that you can take the option of the big sleep, that’s right, I’m talking about Popsicle City. I discovered the stasis bay a month into our trip. It’s a good news/bad news situation. The good news is you wake up and it’s a year later and you are back in the Milky Way. The bad news is you don’t see the meteor that is hurling towards you and hits the hull of your ship, bumping your MP3 player and causing it to play “Africa” by Toto over and over for 11 months and you can do bupkis about it.
“In Space no one can hear you snore.”
Eventually though, the computer popped me out of the chamber and I suited up for re-entry to Earth. That’s my tale. I’m alive and well. Simply a victim of drunken tomfoolery, alien abduction, and miscommunication between beings that could set back galactic cooperation 12 parsecs. But man it’s good to be home.
“Quick! HERO POSE!” -Kobo